7 Try Before You Die – Lip Edition

asking for a friend who hates their chapped, sad, lips...
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Lips. The luxurious, tantalizing, overly fixated, butthole of the face.

Sorry to take it there, but let’s be honest, it adds up – I cross checked Reddit, and I’m not the only one who thinks the lip skin and the skin of the butthole are one in the same, so take it for what it is. We as humans are funny how we forget we’re all just squishy bone bags, and not everything we’re comprised of is actually as pretty as we’ve made it to be by nature, so we do our best to make it gorgeyyyohhhs.

Here comes the transition… So, it’s fair to say that in the last few years, women and looks-conscious men have flocked to the mirrors to suss out where they land on the lip scale. I myself sometimes wonder if the “big lips” trend will die out like many do. Sidebar. In my youth, I was always made fun of for my caterpillar eyebrows, and now I sit here with the last laugh, loungin’ around as women are dropping upwards of $500 for a brow treatment to get that sought after bushy-look. On that note, let us pay homage to a trend I hope never resurfaces- a trend that Amanda Bynes so famously sported in the early 2000’s, this hair trend, that just about makes me cringe, with the two tiny pieces of hair in your face with the rest of it pulled up, please, let this never see the light. All that being said, it seems large lips aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Before you act like you already know everything, yes, hydration is key, so like everything else, a few glasses of water and a fluffy pillow are the cure all for most things, and diligence is key, but lets consider giving these smackers some extra attention. So whether you’re on day 8,768 of this seemingly never ending quarantine with no dermatologist or med spa appointment in sight, or a minimalist looking to up their lip game, I’ve gathered the 7 most important and impactful products to get those lips where they want to be (sans injections, of course).


Let’s begin… Why would I recommend products without really understanding what this glorious body part is all about? Here are some cool facts I learned about lips:

  • Lips have over a million nerve endings! Makes you think twice about some of your first kisses, where you felt, nothing? how……..
  • Like fingertips, the pattern on your lips is totally unique to you. Congrats, you’re as special as you thought. I do wonder if this applies to twins… it probably does. I have twin sisters, I would know, no need to google.
  • Lips have no sweat or oil glands so they don’t have the normal protective layers that provide moisture to the skin
  • How do lips get their color? Blood capillaries, of course! These little dudes live underneath the mucus membrane and are visible because the skin on the lip is much thinner than the rest of the skin. ew?


You’re so annoyed that I chose this, I know. We all get it. Sunscreen is important. If you’re lazy, I’m sure you can apply your regular spf that you use on your face, all over your mouth, but I’m a bougie princess and product junkie, so in this instance, I’ll be proactive. When no amount of scrubs, toothbrush scrubbing, or chapstick seem to do the trick, you can hold the sun at least partially accountable for your dry pout. Fear not, I’ve found the holy grail in both hydration and protection.

Protective Lip Balm SPF30


Best All Around: Blocking both UVA and UVB, this overachiever is great for everyday use. With zero presence of white residue, or dry chalky feeling, it leaves your lips looking glossy, and feeling moisturized. If you’re a fan of clean beauty this product has only the good stuff and is formulated without silicone, paraffin, beeswax or other animal-derived ingredients. Don’t be cheap, you get what you pay for, and look how cool the packaging is!

UV Protective Lip Treatment Broad Spectrum SPF 30


For Luxury: a cult and personal favorite, this is the greatest for everyday wear on no budget. The price is justified sporting extra fancy ingredients like Mangostten, Asian Ginseng, and Wild thyme. If you’re into herbs and essential oils, this is your match made in heaven. Ideal for priming lips and great for layering- win-win in my book. Be sure to shop smart – Cle De Peu’s site has $25 off your first purchase, so head over there and tell me how fancy your package is when you get it in!


the satisfaction. You know that feeling when you walk outside in those awful temporary sandals after a pedicure? That sensation you were born anew, with fresh feet, walking on clouds? That’s what your lip scrub should do for you. Being conscious that the skin on our lips is thin, we obviously don’t want to use anything too aggressive to help shed dead skin, but rather something nourishing, and lightly exfoliating. I only have one favorite in this category because it’s best not to overdo it and stick to what works. You’re welcome.

Balmy Nights Lip Exfoliator


Best Overall: I’m a real fan of convenience. Who wants to stick their finger in a pot of scrub and end up getting most of the product in their mouth… not I. This stick form allows for a smooth, clean, and precise application. Made with pumice stone powder, this scrub stands out from the crowd of countless sugar and salt scrubs that tend to make you feel like you’re frosting your lips, rather than scrubbing them. Great for Vegan, Gluten-Free, Certified Cruelty-Free preferences so you can dissolve the dead, and welcome renewed lips guilt free!


UNPOPULAR OPINION. These are useless. I’ve tried them all from the Korean sheet masks for lips, to the Laneige Overnight Lip Masque. While I’ve accepted that I allow a fair amount of toxins and chemicals into my routinely used products, I don’t subscribe to the overnight product all over my mouth concept. Should you moisturize your lips? Sure. But is a thick mask really necessary? Does it even really moisturize any better than a regular balm or salve? Odds are no. Not a chemist or anything, but I’m fairly certain that there’s only so many ingredients they can use for a product to make it hydrating, so with the exception of fancy additives and oils, I really don’t think this is a necessary step. That being said, I do believe there are circumstances where a thick as thieves to protect your lips is warranted. For example, skiing in windy frigid conditions, or hanging out in Iceland in the winter months, both things I’ve done, and on both occasions supported by tried and true legend of a product.

Pour La Bouche


All You’ll Ever Need: This is a family secret. We buy in bulk, they disappear without a trace, but presumed empty because they are a savior in the winter months. You’ve probably never heard of this brand so don’t let the unknown prevent you from living your best life because wow, this is luxurious. Packed with lanolin, honey, lemon and peppermint flavored oils, keep Pour La Bouche stashed in every pocket, handbag and drawer. Your lips will be so happy, they’ll kiss you! – their words, my thoughts exactly! This beauty is thick enough to create a shield of moisturized protection, without being too sticky or heavy.Just buy it, I promise you’ll thank me later. To be honest at this point, you have a lot to thank me for. sheesh.


Trying really hard not to be a hypocrite over here. I just preached about not using chemicals, and being gentle to my lips, and I’m about to tell you what I do to give my lips a “larger look” that could be categorized as a little too rough on them. Alas, I am not perfect, nor do I think I have carte blanche on what the best way to live or do anything is, but I can share what works for me!

You see, a lot of women are superstars when it comes to applying lip liner. I, in all cases, don’t fall into this category by any means whatsoever. Anyone who knows me is aware of my inability to apply lipstick or lip liner well. I end up looking like a clown a lot of the time, but I’m getting better. So, for those of you that have the “make your lips look bigger with lip liner” trick mastered, swell! My way of doing things is more hardcore, and it works soooo yeah. #hardcore

Lip Plumping Roller


For The Extremist: Don’t be scared. The secret’s out. I roll a bunch of tiny needles over my upper lip to make it look swollen and cute. What we’re all aiming for, right? Here are the claims – Cutting-edge Disc Needle Technology: produces the highest durability needles that remain effective over many treatments; these extremely fine needles gently penetrate the skin and help stimulate collagen and elastin production, which helps to result in smoother, firmer and healthier skin and reduce the signs of aging. My experience is a positive one. I know this is can actually damage the lips if you’re not careful, and I’m not a dermatologist so if you’re down to be a rebel and take my word for it, try it! Before you think of putting this near your face, be sure the roller is disinfected using alcohol. The key is to apply a thick lip product like the aforementioned lanolin, and gently roll side to side and then up and down. I once used a lot of pressure and it felt like my lips were sunburnt the next day, so proceed with caution. If you have a favored lip treatment or serum you like, you can apply that prior to rolling as it will help the product absorb better. Since I’m trying to be famous, I’ll be sure to film a YouTube video of how I do this for you soon, fans.


Yes. I like to use a nice tinted lip, but this is about lip care fundamentals, and as a young Dakota Fanning so wisely once said ” fundamentals are the building blocks of fun”, so we’ll focus on my go to for everyday. I’ll be honest, it irritates me when I see people “addicted to chapstick” using products that aren’t doing them any favors. There are so many options out there, so stop using Carmex and Chapstick, you’re better than that, you like yourself more than that, I mean look at you, reading this entire blog post learning things and all that. So here’s what I’ll do. I’ll let you in on the product I use everyday without fail, and you can decide to level up, or not. #sassy

Hyaluronic Acid Lip Booster

PCA Skin

For The Sassy: I originally received this product in a Dermstore – BeautyFix Box (big fan, shout out Dermstore, I’m ready for my sponsorship) I used it once and I was absolutely SHOOK. Smooth like butter, not sticky, made my lips feel pillow-y and dainty, what more can you want! Turns out, this PCA product isn’t the most affordable, but I make sacrifices when it counts, and in the case of my lips happiness, I will put my wallet on the line, EVERY TIME. It’s powerful blend of active ingredients that instantly hydrate and boost volume without causing irritation, and bonus points for its implementation of collagen stimulating peptides, heck yeah science! Endorsed by me 1000%


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