How To: Queen Of Quarantine

It's fine, I'm fine. lemons, lemonade? bloody mary? Move aside Meghan, we're staying put.Here's how to navigate your way through a pandemic like the royal you are.
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there can’t be a crisis next week, my schedule’s already full…

I’ll come right out and say that I’m pretty damn impressed with myself. As a chronically outgoing extrovert with hypochondriac tendencies, I’ve exceeded all expectations when it comes to navigating this COVID-19 thing. As I’m writing this, I have officially been in quarantine for 56 days. It’s a strange experience we’re all having, but knowing this isn’t a forever diagnosis, well, who am I kidding. I guess it doesn’t make it feel THAT much better…

So here we are, all sitting at home (hopefully), wondering how many hand fulls of Cheez It’s is too many in a five minute span. You close the box, move it out of your direct reach, and what do you know, the next commercial comes on, and your shoveling yet another, uncharacteristically large handful down the hatch. 

Oh, and another thing I’ve realized in my isolation…The saying that only bored people get bored is total bullshit. I happen fancy myself to be as interesting as the Dos Equis man, but with slightly less facial hair, and even I finding myself asking “are we there yet?”. Who we should really have qualms with is our attitude. That said, the idea that one should reject all negative thoughts entirely, and choose to only think positively is equally annoying to me. You’re right, everyone should just manifest the positive and poof we’ve got a house next to Oprah and a perma-smile on our faces. Thanks for the hot tip Pinterest but that’s far too easy of a solution, and as my father famously said, if things were easy, any asshole could do them. So encouraging, but really, as per usual (don’t tell him I said this) he’s right *eye

Well, I think it’s fair to say that life isn’t easy, and while not everyone “does” it as well as the next guy, the people that seem to rise above and conquer their circumstances, have an ivy league education in acceptance. They live within a space of awareness that  resistance is futile when it comes to control. They know that perspective yields power in how you choose to live your life. 

I’ve radically accepted that this sucks. I’ve accepted that life will probably not be the same anytime in the near or distant future. I’m ok with that. I’m grateful for everyday I get to wakeup and see and hear the people and things I love. I’m welcoming this change with open arms, confident I’m resilient enough to tackle what comes my way, even if it’s shitty, all while reminding myself of all the reasons I have to smile. I’m sure I have my days when I cry, or get moody, and that’s all fine and dandy because I’m human and so are you. So while we’re all just trying to get through each day (does anyone know what days are anymore?), let’s capitalize on the opportunity to make quarantine our biotch.

This is embarrassing to admit, but as a child, my parents would take me to Disneyland, and I’d ask, “what are we doing after this?” SO you can imagine how I’ve been in need of ways to spend my isolated time.  

Here are some of my favorite shows, books, and practices to become the Queen of Quarantine. (I’ve made sure to leave out the ever so obvious puzzles and baking because I imagine we’ve all grown tired of that already, your welcome)

Steps 1+2+3= QUEEN

  1. Read the news, but only once a day. Make sure it’s reliable (even though it seems even the reliable sources are contradicting themselves every other minute) Be aware that the news isn’t going to give you all the answers, and most of the time, won’t lift your spirits, if that’s what your looking for it to do.
  2. Move your body. Ugh, all of the instagram live’s are really getting my testy these days, but once I stopped being a hater, and hopped on the treadmill that is at home workouts, I’ve been a lot happier. It’s science guys, exercise makes you happy, Have you not seen Legally Blonde?
  3. Talk to your friends & family BUT only if/when you want to! There have been a couple of days where a friend has called and I simply wasn’t in the mood. When you answer a call or participate in something when you’re not in the headspace where you’re bringing any value, its usually best to forgo, you’re doing the other party a favor in the end. No one wants to seek out a comforting mood boosting conversation with someone and get a bullet point lamentation of how many people have died today, or how you cant believe how many times you’re cleaning your kitchen nowadays.

Binge It, Binge It Real Good.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t already seen these pre-pandemic, but of all of the shows I’ve seen, these three in some form, or another GAVE. ME. LIFE

Put. Down. The Sparknotes.

Surely you’re aware that have a pretty compelling case of A.D.D. so reading an entire book is no easy feat for me. Thus if I’m recommending a particular page turner, its clinically proven to be a good read.

Drop It Like Its Hot.

Fans and friend who know me, know it would take an act of God to make me “work out”, I call it exercising, because I mostly hang out with my grandparents and mom, but I digress. After noticing my butt had slowly started to meld into my leg, I decided to bite the impending fitness bullet, and hit the mat. I tried quite a few at home work out series’, but by far and away MadFit Youtube Video’s were the best. Maddie has a dancer background like myself, and personally, I’m not interested in looking like a body builder, so if you too are aiming to look lean and toned, give her videos a try! They are quick, painful, fun and effective. My favorite of her videos is her 2o Minute Booty Workout & her 15 Minute Intense Six Pack Workout. They are quick, and challenging with the added bonus of requiring ZERO equipment. A little goes a long way when you’re consistent, so if you want a snatched quarantine booty for when you’re released back into the wild, get to steppin’ boo.

Something To Look Forward To.

TRUE STORY. I had a month long trip to Italy locked and loaded. All hotels and flights booked. It was to be my very first big girl trip, foregoing the airbnb’s and staying in luxury resorts, and just like that, poof its gone! You too can plan and hopefully attend your dream vacation! Start researching a destination, hotels, and activities start to finish! When it’s time to book, all you have to click is confirm. Here are some photos of where we would have been come June 9th. le sigh.


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